Why is Freddie Mercury my role model? Why is he so important?

"We all have our moments of desperation. We all have those moments where we feel that absolutely NO ONE is listening to us. We all feel alone from time to time... "

In 2012, my sister, my best friend, the person I tell absolutely EVERYTHING to, was sent to a rehabilitation center. I was not allowed to see her. I was miserable, it affected me greatly, both emotionally socially... Oh 2012.. 

I was in 6th grade, 12 years old. I remember I was quiet most of the time, I didn't talk to anyone, just 1 friend, Pollyanna, my only friend... A group of 5 guys bullied me. 5 guys. They used to yell nasty stuff at me, they used to poke my back, push me, ignore me, laugh at me. Then this group of 3 girls. They made up so many rumors about me... I used to pretend I was sick, and I used to make myself sick, just so I could skip the daily torture that school would bring to me. I grew lonelier and sadder every day at school.

I didn't say anything for a long time... 

I attended dance classes, Theatre Dance and Hip Hop :) 

And that year, for my Theater Dance number.... I was dancing
"Don't Stop Me Now" ... I was so into the dance! I was one of the few girls who knew about the band, I became one of the girls who knew the dance well enough to be in second row at the big show.

I already knew who Queen was since I was 5, but this time I just got more into it.. I downloaded a few songs.. 

While my life out of school was awesome, I still couldn't get away from school. Queen was my only friend, my medicine for all of those hard days...

 I did some research on Freddie and his personality, and he amazed me! I was just.. amazed. 

I think it was somewhere around November 25 .. a day after Freddie's death anniversary. I was done, I felt miserable, I wanted it all to go away..  I was so stressed... I started to have really bad negative thoughts I remember the exact thought that went through my head, 
"Would anyone notice if I die?" 
... WHEN BOOM!!!!! Bohemian Rhapsody came on, on my playlist... 

I felt so so so so so so heart-warmed and just FREE! I felt that I wasn't there, it felt so good... I started crying. That's when my emotional connection with Freddie began. 

My mom found out about everything and she went to talk to the principal of my school about my bullying case... Everything was fixed. I spoke up. I was proud. 

And some days later.. my sister was out of rehab December 8 :) 

My life got fixed during that month. 

Without Freddie, without Queen, I wouldn't be who I am right now, I wouldn't be here. 

Queen still helps me. I've been through stressful times through this year, and I've thought of cutting... But Freddie makes me stop and think... He helps me breathe and just think things over.. Freddie is always there with his presence. 

Queen has been a huge part of my life since forever. 

But my life with Freddie began in 2012 when he saved me. He's an angel.. He watched over me and saved me! He knew I was falling. 

Without Queen, I wouldn't be here. 

"Freddie Mercury, Farrokh Bulsara saved me from depression/suicidal thoughts during the month of November in the year of 2012.  Even if he's not alive to read this, I wish he was. I will never be able to thank him, but if I meet Brian or Roger.. I will thank them for the wonderful impact they've created in my life."

11-25-12.

He lives in my mind

You live in my mind

Every time I think about him I just feel like I'm a kite, flying high up over the clouds... where nothing can harm me or yell at me, or cause any sort of stress in my little world... 

In my world, he's there, with his beautiful beautiful smile... He lives there.

He lives in his own little white house with beautiful flowers by the sidewalk.. 

Daffodils, Camelias, Azaleas,Violets... Every beautiful flower...

His house smells like chai tea. There's a piano in the left corner, in front of a window where the sunlight shines through. A beautiful puffy cat he calls Figaro sleeps peacefully, swaying his tail from time to time.. 

The living room is full of books and beautiful pieces of artwork he's done while he stays there.. Most of them are done with ink, simple drawings, but they're amazing. 

His kitchen is small.. Its counters and cabinets are white, while the floor is checkered. There's a window that looks out to his backyard. There's a dining table and chairs which are made out of pinewood. 

In the living room, in front of the main entrance, there's a narrow staircase. The staircase leads up to the second floor. His bedroom is right in front of the staircase. 

A big colonial bed, a beautiful dresser with a round mirror, a small bathroom with a bathtub and shower.. And a window that looks out to his garden. Sometimes he likes to peek out and look through his window to see how beautiful his garden is. He smiles then he goes back to what he was doing. 

Next to his bedroom, his study. His study is filled with paperwork, song memos, drafts, journals, newspapers, old things that time has gathered.. The study smells like cigarettes and incense. He sometimes stays there for hours, trying to figure things out. Even if he doesn't need to work anymore, he still enjoys writing and pondering about life. His cat, Stevie, a grumpy old cat, lays next to him. Stevie might be old and grumpy, but Fred loves his company... he says it relaxes him in some way. 

On the right side of his bedroom, a guest bedroom. 

Perfectly prim and organized for his guests. There's 2 twin beds, a dresser, a bathroom and a closet. Nothing special. 

His backyard is magical. 

Many dreams have taken place there. 

You can walk out to the backyard through the living room, a glass door divides the two sections. 

The grass is green and perfect. In the morning, little drops of morning dew decorate the beautiful strands of green grass. 

There's daffodils, Fred's favorite. There's a little garden lounge, he loves to have tea and read or write there with the company of his youngest cat, Lala. Lala is a beautiful Persian cat, she's small and puffy and full of life, just like Fred. 

When the sun sets, Fred goes out to his beautiful garden and just looks up at the sky... then the stars and the moon come out and he just gazes at them along with his cats and a warm cup of tea... maybe a cigarette. 

It's just a regular day at my world, 

Fun things happen with many, 

Freddie is part of it, but that doesn't mean he actually lives there eh? it's just a part of my imagination my dear friends.